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  They eyed each other, just inches apart. Adrian wanted so badly to taste his lips again. He nearly forgot where he was, and not only that—who Chandler was now. A taken man.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, man?” Chandler asked, squeezing Adrian’s bicep.

  He found his voice. “Rolling through town. Thought I’d come find you, make sure you were still alive. Three fucking years, man.”

  “Yeah...”

  “I bought you a beer.” He handed the bottle of Bud to Chandler.

  “I’m on the job,” he said.

  “Hey, you don’t even worry about it, Chandler,” called the girl who’d retrieved him from the back. “Take a break. Catch up with your friend.”

  “Thanks, Desiree,” Chandler said, and motioned with his head towards the door. “Let’s step out back for a few?”

  “Sure thing,” said Adrian. He couldn't believe that Chandler was actually here in front of him again.

  They passed through the kitchen and exited out to the back of the restaurant, where several cars and an old Chevy pickup were parked. Adrian closed the door.

  “I honestly wasn’t expecting to find—” His words were trapped and silenced by the sudden press of lips against his. Chandler grabbed his shoulders and slammed him up against the side of the Chevy’s engine compartment. Adrian melted into the kiss. So much for not losing himself.

  Oh my god, he’d missed this. He flung his arms around Chandler’s neck, holding him so tightly there was a danger he might choke him. Every taste and teasing flick of Chandler’s tongue against Adrian’s lips sent pulses of excitement through his body, and especially down to his manhood.

  Keep going this way and Adrian had no idea what he might do. All those memories of the time they’d shared in private on the other side of the world were flooding back.

  They broke from their kiss only because they didn’t want to risk being seen. It took Adrian all of his willpower just to push away and break out of Chandler’s magnetic draw. He looked down at his beer bottle and realized he’d spilled a good portion of it onto the pavement in the excitement. Something about the spilled beer brought him back to his senses.

  “What are we doing?” he said in a low voice. “Chandler. We can’t be doing this here.”

  No, they couldn’t be doing it at all. Chandler was a married man! He had a kid. Who was Adrian to just waltz into his life and screw things up.

  He reminded himself that Chandler was the one who’d started that kiss, but it didn’t make him feel much better. Maybe he should’ve just left town after all…

  Adrian slumped down into a squat against the side of the truck. He swirled the beer around in his bottle and took a long draw. Somehow he managed to look as cool as a cucumber on the outside, but his heart was racing, and the squeeze of denim against his rock-solid hard-on was not the most comfortable thing he’d felt all day. He really wanted nothing more than to tackle Chandler to the dirt and have his way with him right there.

  Chandler slid down next to him and swigged from his bottle. “I guess we’ve got a lot to catch up on, huh?”

  “I’ll say,” Adrian said.

  “How’d you even find me?”

  “I went by the garage where you told me you worked. They pointed me to this place. Shit, I guess I didn’t actually believe I’d find you here.”

  Chandler nodded and looked at Adrian with a gaze that could melt a thousand hearts. He could live on that gaze alone. He’d been craving that gaze, he realized. Five years was way too long to go without it, without him. “Goddamn,” Chandler said. “It’s really you. You won’t even believe how much I’ve thought about what it’d be like to see you again.”

  “Trust me,” Adrian said. “I can. You know I’ve always only been a postage stamp away. That never changed.”

  “Some things did,” Chandler replied, and took another swallow of beer.

  Yeah, like a wife and daughter.

  He was wrestling with his decision to seek Chandler out, but regardless of any guilt, it didn’t change the incredible happiness he felt to be next to him again. He couldn’t help it, and how could he? They’d been so close. Closer than anyone could ever get.

  So how had things changed?

  “How long are you going to be in town for?” Chandler asked.

  Technically, he could stay as long as he wanted, as long as his funds held out, but he wasn’t going to say that. He had that much self-control—or at least he hoped he did. “At least for tonight. I just wrapped up a contract, but I need to head back to Rosebridge. Hopefully I can pick up a contract that’ll take me back there, otherwise I’ll just head back on my own.”

  Chandler nodded. “I get off early tonight. And I don’t got a shift tomorrow.”

  Adrian looked at him, surprised at what he seemed to be suggesting. He knew he should’ve brought up the topic right then, cleared things up and set things straight—I want to see you, but if you’ve got a family… But he couldn’t. He wanted to see Chandler again. More than that, he wanted to have Chandler again.

  “Yeah, alright. What time?”

  2

  Three broken glasses and a mis-tapped keg. Yeah, he was not at the top of his game tonight, but who could blame him? Adrian Stokes was here, today, in this country-ass town. And fuck, if he hadn’t looked fine as hell, with those ass-hugging jeans and worn out flannel shirt. He definitely looked like a trucker.

  It did fit him, but it wasn’t the first career Chandler would’ve expected a man like Adrian to go after. The guy was fucking smart. Always had been. He knew his way around engines even better than Chandler did. Plus, he’d always been good with numbers and money. When they’d exchanged their first letter, Chandler had expected Adrian to have started a business. Maybe even gone to college, or something. Not that he didn’t respect truckers—his grandpa’d been one—but he just expected something different from Adrian.

  “Of course I’ll babysit April,” said Lexie, the other dancer who’d been in the bar when Adrian had waltzed on in. “It’s not every day that you go out with a buddy. In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever gone out with a buddy. I was beginning to think you didn’t have any friends.”

  “We’re friends,” Chandler suggested.

  “Outside of work,” she amended.

  “Yeah, well. You know how it is with kids.”

  “I do, but that’s what babysitters are for.”

  “Thanks, Lexie. Appreciate it.”

  She smiled. “Your friend’s pretty cute. Maybe you could set me up on a date with him sometime.”

  Cute? There were a billion other words that Chandler would’ve used to describe the man’s sex appeal and cute was the mildest one he could think of.

  “I don’t think so,” said Chandler. “He’s not staying in town long.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, definitely live it up tonight then. Don’t even worry about April. She’ll be fine with me and Isabelle. I know they get along so well at day care.” She looked at the clock. “Oops. Break time’s over. Time to hit the poles. I’ll be over to pick April up at seven, ‘kay?”

  “Perfect. Thanks, Lexie,” he said. She left to go back out to the floor, and he went back to washing glasses.

  Live it up tonight.

  He shivered. A night with Adrian fucking Stokes.

  He’d thought about trying to get in contact with him again after the marriage had failed a year back, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Something about pride. He missed him like crazy, but just couldn’t deal with the thought of writing that letter. Dear Adrian, sorry for vanishing into smoke for two years. I’m back, you wanna be pen pals again? He scoffed at the thought. But now he was here, and Chandler had a lot of explaining to do.

  He placed the last clean glass into the plastic rack and carried the whole lot out to the bar. The girls spun and flipped around the poles as patrons stared on, most of them holding that same vacant look they’d have ga
ping at the television.

  Chandler was thrilled to see Adrian again. In fact, he hadn’t been far from his daily thoughts since the moment they said goodbye to each other at JFK International Airport, coming back from deployment. He hadn’t admitted that to anyone, and it was difficult for even him to acknowledge that a man had occupied so much of his mind. In some ways, deep down, he’d been relieved to drop contact. He thought maybe he’d finally be able to live a normal life. Wife, daughter. Not haunted by the ghost of someone he should never have cared so much about.

  But he was haunted by other things that’d followed him back from the scorched sands of a far-off country. It was difficult trying to readjust to civilian life. In the end though, it wasn’t his demons that’d wrecked the marriage, it was Julia’s. There’d been the red flags, all which he’d willingly ignored. Thank god, she hadn’t been using while she was pregnant with April.

  What did he expect to happen tonight? After what had happened in the parking lot… He knew that getting entangled up with this thing that they’d once shared would be a terrible idea. Everetteville, Arkansas was not the place for it. But how could he resist?

  He hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing him. He’d have thrown him into the bed of his truck, if not for better judgement. There’d been no thought in that moment, just an unstoppable force drawing him to Adrian. It’d been so long.

  God, he’d missed him. He hadn’t realized just how much.

  After three of the most distracted hours of his life, Chandler finally punched out his timecard for the day. He fired up the engine of his Chevy pickup and headed over to the Kountry Kids Day Care on the west side of town to pick up April.

  The little girl came out clutching her favorite Disney princess doll in one hand—Elise, or Ezla, Chandler could never remember the names of these things—and a finger painting in the other.

  “How was she?” he asked Mrs. Gaut, the owner of the day care.

  “Sweet as sugar, as always. I know I’ve told you before, but April is an exceptionally bright little girl. Have you been teaching her to read at home?”

  “Just showing her a book or two. Reading to her.”

  “Well, she’s picking it up on her own, and fast. It’s quite amazing really, for a four-year-old.”

  April wrapped her arm around his leg.

  “I painted this for you, Daddy,” she said, holding up the paper to him. “It’s you and me.” On it was a blue stick figure standing next to a smaller, red stick figure, both with wide smiles extending past the borders of their heads. Above them, scrawled in crayon, was “daddy” and “me”.

  “I’ll be damned,” he said. “Honey, this is really good! Writing and everything. My little girl is a genius.”

  April grinned up at him, and he ruffled her blonde hair.

  “Honey,” he said, looking at her in the rear-view mirror as they drove home. “You remember Lexie, from work?”

  “That’s Isabelle’s mommy.”

  “That’s right. You’re gonna be going over to her and Isabelle’s house tonight for a little playdate. An old friend of Daddy’s came into town today, and he and I have some catching up to do.”

  “Isabelle!” she shrieked happily, throwing her hands up in the air.

  He smiled. That was one worry off his mind. April had never liked being left overnight with a babysitter, which he’d had to do every so often during late night shifts ever since Julia’d been out of the picture. He’d have to ask Lexie to sit more often, from now on. Having another kid around for April to play with would be good for her. No reason why his daughter should be a loner like him, after all.

  Back at the modest one bedroom apartment they called home, Chandler stuck April’s painting up on the fridge with a magnet. “Let’s get you ready for tonight,” he told her. “Lexie will be over to pick you up in a couple hours. Go pick out what toys you want to bring over to their house while I make you some dinner.”

  April toddled off to her room, while Chandler set to work in the kitchen. He wasn’t much of a cook, but he could make a pretty good spaghetti, which was April’s favorite.

  Wanting to give his daughter her own space, Chandler had sacrificed having a real bedroom to himself and instead converted half of the living room into his room. It was cramped, but he didn’t need much to be comfortable. In fact, he preferred it. It was cozy, minimalist, and it made him feel safe. His daughter was the one who was growing bigger every day, so he wanted to make sure she could have the best, most normal life possible with the meager earnings he was pulling in at the bar.

  Money had been better when he was working for the repair shop. It was something he actually was good at, too. It was a shame his boss had been such a piece of shit. Some people just couldn’t deal when their “inferiors” knew more than they did.

  Pasta bubbling away on the stove, Chandler poured out a jar of sauce into a pot and set that simmering. He looked at the clock. Not too long from now, he’d be seeing Adrian again. He couldn’t help but laugh, he was so excited. Hell, he even felt like dancing. He shuffled his stockinged feet along the tile floor of the kitchen as he waved the spoon around in the air like a sauce covered microphone.

  A sudden giggle stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned to see April standing in the kitchen entrance, holding the pink lunch box she used to carry her toys in. “I want to dance too,” she squealed. She set the lunch box onto the floor and hurried over to her father, who grabbed her hands and pulled her onto his feet, and the two of them laughed as they shuffled across the kitchen floor.

  The two men bought beer and took seats at a table at Donnigan’s Bar as rock music blared out of a corner juke box. The place smelled like cigarettes, leather and cheap cologne. It was loud and not the best environment for holding a conversation, but it wasn’t like there were a whole lot of options in town. Besides, it was probably better that they wouldn’t be overheard.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting around,” Chandler said, and Adrian smiled and shook his head.

  “It’s nothing. Haven’t seen you in five years, what’s another couple hours?”

  They touched beer bottles and took a swig. Chandler watched as Adrian brought the beer to his lips, sucked down a swallow, and returned the bottle to the table. His gaze wandered across the bar for a moment before meeting Chandler’s, and his mouth tugged up into a smile when he realized he was being admired.

  God, he looked good. Dark hair and dark eyes, the kind that were so deep you could practically drown in them. Chandler could lose himself in those eyes. He had before.

  “What’re you lookin’ at?” Adrian asked, his smile turning into a playful grin.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  “Shit, man. I almost can’t believe it myself. I don’t know if I should be here. And you, for that matter.”

  “What are you talking about, Adrian?”

  “I’ve been wondering where you’ve been for the past three years. I didn’t even know if you were alive or dead. I hate admitting it, Chandler, but I’m not going to lie. You just dropping of the radar like that has been eating at me all this time. So I roll in town, look you up. Find out you’ve got a little girl. You’ve got a life, man. I wish I’d known that so that I hadn’t barged in on it.”

  Chandler shook his head and opened his mouth to protest, but Adrian stopped him.

  “What are you doing out with me, Chandler? What’d you tell her? I know you’re no good at lying. So what’d you say?”

  “The truth,” he said. “That I’m out with an old buddy of mine. She don’t need to know more than that.”

  Adrian sat back in his chair and eyed him. Chandler recognized that look, it was the one he got when he was trying to figure someone out. Adrian had always been good at figuring people out. It’d saved their asses a couple times on patrol. He could tell when someone was hiding something.

  But Chandler wasn’t hiding anything. Why would he tell April anything more?

  “An old bud
dy,” Adrian repeated. “An old buddy who…” He lowered his voice. “…you made out with in the parking lot. I shouldn’t be here, but I can’t stay away from you now that I’ve gotten a taste of you again.”

  A little shiver of excitement coursed through Chandler’s body. He fought to quickly collect himself. “Why the hell would I tell my four-year-old daughter anything about that?”